Arte Fidelity

Five

2012-01-03T17:10:00.000+11:00

Vivacious :: Effervescent :: Curious :: Intelligent :: Affectionate :: Caring :: Talkative :: Thoughtful :: Clumsy :: Patient :: Theatrical :: Kind :: Helpful :: Eager

Happy birthday to my first baby girl. Five years has flown and yet it has also seemed like its taken forever to get here.

When will I get to go to school?
When will my teeth fall out?
When will my hair get long?
When will I learn to read?
When can I start doing "X" by myself?

I am so relieved to be able to tell you that the time has arrived. Go for it. I know you will, like a bull at a gate. May my mothers heart survive this growth spurt. x

Two thousand and twelve

2012-01-01T20:49:00.001+11:00

image

Hello 2012. So nice to see you!

I've got a whole lot of happiness planned for this year, so I hope you're on board with that. I also have a bit of work to do, getting stuff finished that has been on my To Do list for too long. I also plan on having fun and being happy. Being productive whilst also simplifying. I plan on looking into his eyes when he's talking to me so he know's I'm listening and I care about what he has to say. That I care about him. I plan on reading their books each night at a measured pace, enjoying the moment, rather than rushing through them so I can put my tired feet up. I plan on giving myself lots of breaks, especially in my head when my standards are getting to unrealistic. I plan on helping my eldest prepare her little self for the rigours and joys of starting school, whist remembering to breathe and enjoy it too. Oh and I plan on saying a whole lot more of Yes. To the kids, to myself. Why not, I say...

So there's lots of plans 2012. You'd better get with it so you can keep up with me. Lets not disappoint eachother. Here's to a great year. x

Farewell 2011

2011-12-31T19:59:00.016+11:00

As the sun sets on 2011 I just wanted to drop by to bid it farewell.

This year has seen me deep in reflection, purging the old, choosing some dreams, making plans for them, even if those plans include accepting that I can't pursue all of them right now.

It's been a great one for me personally, but in retreating so deeply, I'm not too sure how some of my relationships have faired. Now that I'm ready to pop my head up and be part of the world again I am sure I may have some debris to clean up. But I'm strong enough and ready to do so.

Looking forward to a whole, fresh, clean new year to enjoy. Starting tomorrow. x

Retreating

2011-05-17T15:03:00.001+10:00

I know I haven't blogged for ages. I'm not so much slack as I am...I think the word I'm looking for is...retreating. There is a lot going on in my head and heart. In my life. I find I am struggling to be true to any of the things that need me. This blog is feeling a little that way too.

I love this space of mine to write whatever is on my mind. To show whatever I want you to see. To record whatever I want to capture. But for now I feel that I need less of me out there and more of my attention on me. In me. Privately.

Funnily enough I was invited to join Pinterest today, after I decided I wouldn't be blogging for a little while. Another way to put myself out there, my likes, my inspiration, my desires. I think I'll wait until I jump into that way of sharing too.

So until further notice it's going to be quieter than its already been around these parts. I look forward to returning when I have more to give.

Until then - thanks for coming with me on my journey so far. I'll see you again soon. x

Image

Day 4: what they wear

2011-02-04T14:18:00.009+11:00

Mummy's things

Day 3: then & now

2011-02-03T14:42:00.002+11:00

Isabella

Day 2: how they look

2011-02-03T14:37:00.004+11:00

Like a fairy...most days.

Day 1: what they do

2011-02-01T22:22:00.002+11:00

Play

the joy of LOVE

2011-01-31T21:53:00.002+11:00

Image from here

A couple of months ago I signed on to be part of Willette Photography's "the joy of LOVE" free photography e-course given as a gift to their blog followers to celebrate the month of love.

I'd totally forgotten I'd signed up until I got an email today reminding me that it starts tomorrow. Glad they're organised!

So what is it all about? I'm glad you asked:

participants receive daily email prompts/photo assignments with some tutorial/instruction built into the daily email lesson.
your photos can be uploaded to a public flickr gallery and shared with other participants.
subject is someone/thing you love (doesn't have to be the same subject each day)

you receive an album template download at the end for all of your photos you take during the class
it's a journey to help you document your loved one(s) – whether it is a spouse, partner, child, pet, parent or friend

To sign up and play along (they say you can join at any time during the month) just follow this link or you can read about the daily tutorials from their blog.

. jely

2011-01-28T21:29:00.003+11:00

Is got a couple of lovely handmade gifts for her birthday. Today I'm showcasing the perfect works of Jo who I am very excited to say gifted one of her beautiful handcrafted baby essentials bags which I'd had my eye on.

Here it is in my handbag. The perfect gift for mum and baby - and let me tell you this gift has had a good workout. It's always with us on hand ready to be used...which it invariably is and will be for another year or two. Its not only useful to have everything you need for a nappy change in one small bag, its beautiful to look at too.

Be warned, the change mat is a show stopper...or should I say nappy change stopper. I've been known to say - yes by all means you can have a look...after I've changed Is!

Images taken from http://www.jely-online.com/

I find it also suits my needs with a one and four year old in the family. I'm so over nappy bags but still need to accommodate their needs. Given that I can also fit in a spare pair of undies for any 4 year old accidents that my happen, I'm pretty much thinking its perfect.

Here is a link to Jo's shop and her gallery. You won't be disappointed that you stopped by. x

Happy Australia Day

2011-01-25T21:47:00.002+11:00

Enjoy your day. x

Bobbing

2011-01-21T22:29:00.001+11:00

Ok, I'm going to keep this brief.

She used to have hair like this:

Now she has hair like this:

A choppy scissors incident led to an angry mum finding the shortest piece of hair and cutting straight across...into a bob. And so it is that my child now has short hair.

S is no longer allowed to cut and paste at home. Mum will keep in mind that leaving the room to get something is apparently not ok... x

Still celebrating 4

2011-01-19T16:35:00.003+11:00

Before we spontaneously left for a weeks holiday I had allowed S to peruse the Women's Weekly Kids' Birthday Cakes cookbook. She'd chosen a ladybird cake for her birthday. Immediately my head was filled with a ladybird themed party, the ideas were flowing thick and fast until I sternly reminded myself that we were just having a quiet family birthday for her fourth.

So we made a fuss of her while we were away...but the previous promise of a ladybird cake haunted S and she'd ask me daily when we returned home if I could make her one.

After a week of ~~nagging~~ asking me about this cake I decided it was the perfect way to spend a day. She could make the cake and decorate it. That should take up hours of these school holiday days, right? Right.

With the littlest help from me, this independent four year old made and decorated her ladybird cake. How proud does she look? When it was all finished I called our next door neighbour and had Emma (5 yrs) come in to share it with us.

Needless to say S was wrapped. I was happy she had a friend to play with while I returned to the ~~bomb site~~ kitchen and got stuck into the clean up without a helper. x

S & Emma with sticky fingers after demolishing their piece of cake

Quatro

2011-01-17T20:38:00.001+11:00

Sienna turned four while we were away. Since we were camping I didn't have an oven to make her a cake (the cake ritual is her favourite part) so we made sure we made a fuss of her in other ways.

Presents as soon as she woke up, from us and other family members. A cafe breakfast of blueberry pancakes with maple syrup. A play in the park and then an hour at a beachside childrens activity stand. A helium balloon. An ice-cream in a cone. A swim at the beach. Fish and chips in town for dinner.

Spoiled, no?

To top it off, when we got home from dinner an old family friend staying at the park had heard we didn't have a cake for S and he'd made one for her in his caravan. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing. 4 candles on top. We were so touched.

So yes, definitely spoiled and so well deserved.

Happy birthday to my beautiful S. You're growing in front of my eyes with each passing week. I just hope its fast enough for you...you want to be so big so quickly. x

New Year, new skills

2011-01-14T20:19:00.003+11:00

It’s a whole new year.

For several reasons I really feel this year is the time to close my mouth and open my ears. Open my heart. Listen. To what’s going on inside me. To what’s happening around me. Does it feel good? Is this working for me?

Listen to what others are sharing. Sit back a little instead of taking the limelight. Take stock of myself. Stop talking and start doing - quietly. Without pomp and ceremony. Without seeking approval. Without talking about it. Only talking about it.

I plan to slowly, quietly, day by day, chip away at my dreams for myself. Just for one year. This year. x

Starting off 2011 in a tent

2011-01-12T21:50:00.127+11:00

We were lucky enough to call and they had a cancellation that we could take. And so it was that our little family packed up and headed to the Great Ocean Road for a week's holiday in the new year.

Our modest set up

We camped at a little caravan park that I'd camped at between the ages of 12 and 22. It'd been over 10 years since I'd camped there and it felt strange yet wonderful to return and see all the old familiar faces that I grew up with...and meet their children!

Typically our days started with a walk to the toilet block followed by a walk on the beach. Shells and rocks were collected on each walk. We ate breakfast in the sun then got ready to head down the beach for the day, or into town for a coffee.

The creek that runs along the top end of the caravan park provided ours of fun for the girls. Safe fun. Is has turned out to be a dare devil and would crawl right into the waves given the opportunity. After a minor dumping on her first day she quickly learned to crawl into the waves and then stand when they reached her, then crawl some more.

S spent hours and hours in the water. She loves the sun and sand. One day she was a mermaid and I was visiting her rock pool castle. The next she was too cool for mum as she played with the older kids in the creek. The following day I'd be her side kick as we explored the rocks and the holder of found shells.

We camped directly behind the sand dunes and would fall asleep to the roar of the ocean each night. If we positioned ourselves correctly we could enjoy a vino and an ocean view while still staying close enough to hear and "supervise" sleeping children (that is, when they finally slept).

My sister visited us for 3 days. She brought with her a world of excitement for the kids (she has an amazing imagination) and some repreve for the parents. She'd encourage me to go for a walk, go see the sun setting, have another drink, sit in the comfy chair. She even fixed up the toe situation I had going on by painting them bright red. Thanks Studio Christensen. She was a breath of fresh air and so fun to play with...and I'm not just talking about the kids.

Is with Aunty Lise

Being a seasoned tent camper I had learned (sometimes the hard way) that the illusion of privacy that one may feel inside a tent is exactly that, an illusion. That flimsy canvas does not block out your private conversation or confessions when you're 15, nor the honeymoon sex you're still enjoying in your first year of marriage.

Enter two children into the mix. Our first time camping with them. I was acutely aware that the way I spoke with, played with and disciplined my girls was public knowledge. I even yelled in whispers at one stage. It is possible - email me and I'll give you a run down on how to execute it. I think its all in the scary, earnest face.

Anyway, we couldn't have been too much of a problem for our neighbours even if S woke at 6.30am and couldn't for the love of God master the whisper. One of our neighbours told us how well behaved our girls had been. The next day each overtired child flipped out on separate occasions for a looong time...perhaps they'll be so kind as to keep their compliments to themselves next time.

Dad shielding S from the strong winds whipping sand onto S. Ouch!

All up I'd say it wasn't always easy but it was a wonderful holiday. It was warm and sunny with no rain (a campers enemy). The girls played in the water every day and made friends with a family of 3 girls next door. Our beds were comfy and the food and wine was good. I'd do it again next year if I could convince the Big Fella its a good idea.

No luck so far as he claims he came home more tired than when we left. He may or may not have a point. x

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T21:11:00.017+11:00

From our family to yours, enjoy and happy and relaxing Christmas.

I for one am feeling very tired and a little emotional (?) after all the Christmas celebrations and am looking forward to relaxing with my mum and sister tomorrow with a glass of wine or two (child free!).

Christmas Lights

2010-12-22T22:45:00.000+11:00

So excited in her car seat about to leave...in her pj's.

I took S out tonight to see Christmas lights for the very first time. She was the perfect age to go. The excitement of waiting up until it neared darkness. Knowing that her little sister was tucked up fast asleep as we "snuck" out of the house and drove out of the driveway towards our little adventure.

As we approached the street that I planned to visit she could see houses lit up along the way. All I could hear were exclamations of happiness from the back seat. I had the biggest grin on my face and a lump in my throat as she said "Look mum! A Santa on the roof", "oh mummy, thank you, thank you for bringing me to see the lights", "those lights...they're so...so...gracious!" (I have no idea where she gets this stuff from, but I love it).

The pictures tell the rest. Definitely worth the drive and a great lead up to Christmas. Something we'll be doing again next year. x

No more dummy

2010-12-16T22:12:00.017+11:00

She must have been ready. I told her I had a surprise for her in the morning if she went to bed without a dummy.

One catch though (isn't there always?) - you can't have the dummy back. It's gone for good.

And just like that S ditched the dummy for her surprise and was wrapped with it when she woke up this morning (at 6.30am). Mum's pretty impressed too! Unbelievably painless. x

Second chance

2010-12-15T21:17:00.012+11:00

These pics will be going into the grandparents Christmas cards. Hope they like them. I broke out in a sweat getting them. A couple of nice ones out of over a hundred shots people...

Thanks Nonna for your help. x

A blooper...but so cute.

If at first you don't succeed...

2010-12-10T20:53:00.016+11:00

This was my first attempt at getting a festive pic of S to go in the grandparents Christmas cards. Is was asleep and S was surprisingly compliant about putting on a pretty dress and letting me do her hair. It seemed like it was going to be easy...

The actual "photo shoot"? She wasn't that interested from the start. It's not as easy as photographers make it look. Right facial expression, bad light. Great light, she's won't look. Subject will. not. stand. still. Subject is 3 and is having way too much fun mucking around. Subject is bored and is leaving the room.

Lets just say there'll be a second attempt once I gather more courage. x

Vases

2010-12-08T21:36:00.003+11:00

Since spring we have been breeding vases with flower heads precariously sitting on top.

I've tried explaining to S the virtues of enjoying the flowers in the garden, where they're happiest.

I've even gone the route of asking that if she must pick the flowers, perhaps pulling further down their stem would be best so I don't have to fill the vases to the top just so the poor, wilted flower head can drink some water. There has been limited success with this notion.

Either way, you're pretty much guaranteed around our house that there will be little vases of flowers striving to bloom after being plucked, played with and eventually brought inside to live out what life they may have left in them.

Bless her. x

Advent

2010-12-01T21:02:00.003+11:00

Here we are at December already...yikes!

Just as I was talking myself into being ok that I completely forgot to make an advent calendar like I'd planned to...I stumbled upon this post (yes, Tracey saved the day again), directing me to this freebie.

A paper advent calendar. Fancy paper bags, no less. I was beyond chuffed and motivated to give it a go, even if it was last minute.

So, while S was at kinder for ~~too~~ two brief hours, I printed off, cut out and hung the first 10 days on our fireplace. Instead of a chocolate every day I planned on writing little notes that outlined little activities we could do every day, getting us ready for Christmas.

When I arrived at kinder to pick S up I was all excited that I'd made the beginnings of the calendar in the nick of time. All prepared to show her a little surprise when she got home, S pipped me at the post and had a little surprise of her own for me...in the form of a pale face, a towel and a bucket.

Fast forward to her lying on the couch (in front of the fireplace) after emptying the contents of her stomach in the car...without any interest in my ~~pride and joy~~ advent calendar hanging there awaiting her attention.

By 5.30pm I'd long since given up on the notion that we'd be implementing today's activity - putting up the Christmas tree. But alas - ever the unpredictable 3 year old - she rallied, expressed interest, read the note and was dancing around me as I was putting the tree together getting both of us caught up in the string of beads she was wrapping around us.

By 5.45pm she'd lost interest and I continued until 8pm when at last it was completed.

And so it was that the celebration of Advent for this year had begun. x

Acknowledgements

2010-11-25T12:44:00.046+11:00

I know my last post was all about the party and I have nothing more to add except just two things.

Blogland is a world of inspiration and I wanted to thank Sew Mama Sew for the inspiration and tutorial (yay!) to make the scalloped bunting. I loved that it was a bit different to usual bunting and I was very happy with how it turned out.

I have to rave about the cake stand I bought from Tracey Lau. If you're not familiar with her I suggest you acquaint yourself with her loveliness.

Not only is her blog beautiful and her party preparations gorgeous - but having done business with her recently - I have to say she is a really lovely person too. Her customer service is second to none and her excitement about the products she sells is contagious. She wants you to love your purchase as much as she loves the product. And I have to say - she doesn't disappoint.

Tracey recently started selling cake stands. They are available as a square or round stand and I think they add a touch of class to any occasion - even if it just allows your cake to be seen a little better!

I love that you can add ribbon or anything else your heart desires - I'm thinking of threading mini bunting through the holes next time.

Cake stand images used with permission from Tracey's blog

Just thought I'd share a little of the loveliness I found through blogging which inspired me while preparing for Isy's party. x

There's a party on the hill...

2010-11-21T22:17:00.016+11:00

The internet was trawled for months prior for inspiration. Pretty decorations were leisurely made in the weeks before. Paper flower garlands sewed. Bunting completed. Cake ideas circulating through my mind. It was all a bit of fun.

I made a list of friends. Decided to throw caution to the wind and invite everyone. 29 kids were invited. And their parents. 26 kids confirmed their attendance.

Panic set in. Is the house big enough? What if it rains? How do you occupy 26 freaking kids? More flower pom-poms made to take my mind off it.

Party games organised to stop kids from climbing the walls with boredom. Pass the parcel. Check. Treasure hunt. Check. Pinata...it costs what? Ok, check. Alcohol bought to encourage the parents to mingle.

House decorated. Carpets vacuumed, garden tended to (thanks husband). Cake iced. Chose to ignore the curdled icing and soldier on. Girls were dressed. Dressed myself. Decided to enjoy this party since it was really just a few hours out of my life that could be great - and if not, it's just a few hours out of my life.

Started to relax. Mingled a little. Played the games with the kids. Found myself having fun. Kids got on just fine. Sun shone. Got sweaty. Face shiny and red. Something else I chose to ignore.

People leaving. Party bags offered. Kisses and hugs to farewell.

Photo courtesy of Jo

Feet ached. Throat sore from tiredness. Shoes off. Wine poured. Seat found. Aaaah. Mental review of the day. Giggled that my lemon tree got watered.

And just like that Isabella's first birthday was over. It was fun. She is so worthy of the effort. It helps that she smiled and laughed the whole day.

Now, I'm off to sleep for a week. Children permitting, of course. x

Uno

2010-11-18T08:59:00.065+11:00

IsyB you are one. Now that was one whirlwind of a year that passed so quickly. You're still so little - petite enough to fool me into thinking I still have a baby. You're still keen on the breastmilk too, so its easier to carry on with the illusion that you're not yet one, you're still my little baby that I brought home from the hospital...was it just a few months ago?

Then I look at myself in the mirror and the dark circles under my eyes remind me that neither of us have slept through the night for a year...and then it feels like its been 12 months of busy nights.

I know I keep saying it, but you've been an absolute delight from the moment you were born. You're calm, quiet, observant, affectionate and you have a loooong fuse. It's just that once its lit...we have to get out of the way because you're a firecracker once you're peeved!

You joined our family seamlessly. You loved us all immediately. You snuggled and smiled and played and crawled your way into our hearts and now that we are a family of four it is hard to concieve that we were ever really happy without you here with us.

You love your sister. She can light up your face whenever she walks into the room. S has been a loving and patient sister and it has been her saving grace after we've endured her 3rd year - a year of expressing herself, pushing boundaries and staking her claim in our family. Seeing her love you and you love her has helped us to see S as the gentle, loving little girl she is.

You are also cheeky with a great sense of humour. You have us laughing many times. Any grumps can be forgotten with a quick game of "Boo!" which you never grow tired of. It was your first word.

I am getting used to hearing "Mummy!" from another room. How is it that my baby can talk? Aren't you still too little?

You're just about to say "Boo!" here

You're cruising furniture but not ready to walk. You can crawl at a furious pace and you don't miss out on much since you can keep up with us all as you crawl along.

You're a great eater - more of a fruit bat than a veggie girl. It must be that sweet tooth you inherited. Sorry about that...

Thank you for this year. I was told 6 weeks after you were born by a stranger that had "abilities" whilst at a childrens party that you were given to me to show me what a wonderful mother I could be. I took it with a grain of salt (because she also told me I'd have 4!!! kids) but I can see some truth in it. Perhaps its because I'm a second time mum. Perhaps its how your personality affects mine. But I have enjoyed you immensely and I look forward to the many years ahead of enjoying eachother.

Happy birthday Boo. You are so loved. x

Girls weekend

2010-11-13T22:18:00.003+11:00

A weekend away. All of us had been at school together at one time or another.

Comfortable. Funny. Sharing. Sewing. Bliss.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful holiday home with us Clare. x

Standing

2010-11-08T22:14:00.000+11:00

She loves to stand but she needs a prop. Any old thing will do. x

Grandma's love

2010-11-07T21:55:00.021+11:00

Is got a love package in the mail this week. Some handmade Grandma's love made from 80% bamboo and 20% cotton. It is soooo soft and delicious.

My mother in law made this cardigan for each of her four babies (back in the day) and for a couple of her grandchildren until she got the hint that knitted cardi's weren't...shall we say...highly regarded.

Enter the daughter-in-law who loves handmade knitty love and Grandma is back clicking away at the needles. She gets to make beautiful things. I get to enjoy them on my babies. My babies get to enjoy being warm and looking lovely. Everyone wins!

PS. I know I was meant to be capturing the garment...but I kind of lost focus along the way. That face!

The Shadow

2010-10-17T21:07:00.000+11:00

Just two things to share today:

S has a shadow. Wherever she goes, Is finds a way to be there too. It's adorable to watch. You should see the look of triumph on her face when she finally gets to where S is, pulls herself up to a standing position so she can see what's going on and then looks around for me with such a happy face. Thankfully S is mostly oblivious, or extremely patient with her shadow. No telling Is to "buzz off!" just yet.

I ordered a few stocking fillers and little gifts from The Tribe store. An online store with reasonably priced and great gifts for kids and mums to be.

Today I gave S the soy pebble crayons. They come in a velour pouch and when she tipped them out they created a rainbow of colour on the table. Her little hands just couldn't resist picking them up to start drawing or counting.

Looks like they were a hit...but something that Shadows aren't welcome to share just yet.

Spring weather?

2010-10-16T21:38:00.001+11:00

It's been such a wet and cold Spring so far. I couldn't believe what I saw when I got up this morning:

So much hail that it settled? In Spring? What next I wonder?

Quick Holiday download

2010-10-15T21:16:00.065+11:00

Perth.

It was sunny. Oh, how it was sunny. It was warm. So lovely and warm. The water sparkled, the skies were big and blue. The breeze was warm and welcomed. The food was fresh,delicious and eaten in restaurants many times (ie. not too much cooking for me!). We celebrated the 70th birthday of my father in law in style.

These are the highlights.

We stayed in four places in eight days. Felt an underlying apprehension with each move as to whether my kids would actually sleep in these four different beds in different abodes for eight days (needn't have worried, they were great!). Had to juggle two bored young ones during the fresh and delicious meals eaten in said restaurants. Had our flight cancelled as we were about to board the flight home. Had to rehire our car for double the price that we'd just dropped it off at. Had to find accommodation for the night. Dodged as much family politics as I possibly could until I...well lets just say that imploding is not my style.

These were the lowlights.

I don't like to be negative, but its not in me to only give you half the story. So with that, I will leave it up to you to deduce how much fun you think was had.

Now I am all thawed out and ready for spring in Melbourne. It's so good to be home. x

Staying present

2010-10-05T21:47:00.019+11:00

Today's date has significance for me - my dad died on this date. I can honestly say it's not front of mind for me anymore. I actually realised the date once I downloaded the pics I took of my girls. It passed unnoticed until then.

If he was here today he'd get to meet these girls of mine. How could you not die all over again from the cuteness of those butts? Excuse the pun but seriously - who wouldn't?

Incidently, this was the first time Is has stood up at the bath. She's getting so big! x

Urgh...

2010-09-21T20:23:00.000+10:00

Nearly a month has passed since my birthday. How time flies! I'd love to say its because I was having fun...but its boring...I've been sick. For nearly a month. Its been through us all. Me, 3 times. So I do plan on blogging again soon...I'm just sick. Urgh.

I fly to Perth for a family holiday on Thursday. We'll be there for 8 days. I'm hoping the sunshine will seep into my soul and replenish me so I can come home refreshed, healthy and ready to spring clean my house...and perhaps my life. If I have any left over energy.

Holiday pics to come. The pic above is of a quilt I'm trying to finish. Slowly, slowly. It's really quite relaxing work and about as much as I can handle right now. x

Father's Day 2010

2010-09-05T20:27:00.030+10:00

We read through the book several times. S was captivated by all the possible reasons that she could love her Daddy. By the fifth re-read request she was reciting it with me.

Then we wrapped Daddy's gift in a piece of her artwork. Well, she wrapped it...with me hovering like a control freak.

We snuck into our bedroom to wake up Daddy (they were too excited to allow a sleep in) and he sleepily enjoyed our squeals and hugs and kisses.

S helped him unwrap his present and then proceeded to read it to him using the pictures as cues for why she loves her daddy. The Big Fella was astonished and I, just a little bit proud.

Is crawled up for some kisses too.

We then headed to my brothers house to celebrate my nephews 6th birthday. All my family were there which makes for a happy me.

Happy fathers day to you my love. You know what you mean to us - we told you all the why's of loving you in the book S read to you. Happy Days. x

Getting into the swing...

2010-08-28T10:39:00.002+10:00

...of spring. Starting with a spring fair. Hurstbridge put on a show.

Fun was had by all.

34

2010-08-24T10:13:00.034+10:00

I am 34 today.

I know it's been said a thousand times by countless others - but how did I get here so fast? Where did that time go? Am I really in my mid thirties already?

I'm not saying I'm old. I'm just amazed that I'm here already. But when I do a few sums in my head the numbers add up and it makes sense.

I've been with my man for 16 years :: I've studied and obtained a degree :: I've gotten married :: I've lived overseas :: I've travelled extensively :: I've worked 3 jobs in 3 different industries :: I've bought a house ::
I've had 2 kids

These things don't happen within a couple of years. It took time to get here. And so, here I am. 34.

I've always felt so young and I have no reason to feel any different on this birthday, but I do. I feel different. I feel like it's time for me to grow up. Be an adult. Suck it up. Do what I have to do to get where I want to go. Be authentic. Be myself. Like myself. Stop apologising for who I am. Stake my claim in this life. Say no when I feel I need to. Say yes when I mean it. Love more. Fear Less. Now.

So today I have cleansed, toned & moisturised my neglected face. My dry hands have been moisturised several times. I have gone to the toilet as soon as I need to go, instead of holding til my kidneys ache because I'm busy with other things. I discarded my breastfeeding bra and put on something lacey. I took my vitamins. I included myself in my list of people to care for today and I think I could make a habit of this. It's not half bad. It actually feels quite good.

I would never relive my youth but I don't regret a minute of my past. It's got me exactly where I am today. 34. Alive. Loved. Blessed.

Happy birthday to me. x

8 months

2010-08-17T19:12:00.002+10:00

On the eve of your 9 month milestone I'd like to thank you for this eighth month. You have been an absolute joy and the growing and developing you've done in one single month has been so exciting and fun to witness.

In your eighth month you:

learnt to crawl
learnt to sit up
say "Mama"
say "Dada"
wave goodbye whilst saying "Ba-ba"
Put your blanket up to your face, remove it quickly and exclaim "Aaah Berr!" (that's Ah Boo!)
Slept through the night 3 times!

I tell you it's been one busy month of growing and I'm watching my baby girl grow up before my eyes on a daily basis.

I still love our morning feeds together. You're so warm, peaceful and cuddly. After having your milk you nuzzle into my chest, suck your thumb and stay there until you're ready to face the day...or you fall into a peaceful slumber. It's such a nice way to start the day with you.

You are a constant source of delight for all of our family. Your gummy smiles provide endless photo opportunities and moments of joy. There is not a tooth to be seen as yet - just heavy, white gums just waiting to crack a tooth...any day now? I'm loving your gums and your sweet milky breath for more months than I expected. How lucky I am!

I can't imagine what your 9th month will bring. More growing and movement I'm sure. You are loved beyond measure. Your happiness is contagious. Thank you again for choosing us. x

Well, hello there!

2010-08-16T18:45:00.001+10:00

Can you see? In the mirror? The Canon EOS 550D.

Hello there, it was so nice to meet you. I think I fell in love with you the moment I took you out of the box. Does that make you uncomfortable? Oh well, you'll get over it and I'm sure I'll get over you one day...

Until then it's good news for my neglected blog. I think you may be seeing a bit more of me around these parts. Have new toy, will take pics. Have pics, will blog.

And just like that, I'm back in the saddle. x

It's oh so quiet...

2010-07-27T15:57:00.000+10:00

Everything is a bit slow around here at the moment. Low on energy. Low on motivation. Don't have alot of words.

I'm well. I'm happy. I'm just quiet. For a change.

Hope all is well with you. x

Celebrity Crush

2010-06-28T16:37:00.001+10:00

I've been watching Masterchef. I prefer to tape it so I can fast forward all the drama and just see the good cooking, food, locations and celebrity chefs.

They have been featuring Donna Hay a bit this season. I think I may have a little crush on her. Her food is undeniably delicious. Her magazine a feast for the eyes and stomach. Her food styling...impressive. Everything about her and her work seems to be wholesome, down to earth, simple, yet so visually appealing.

I like her taste in home wares. I love her cupcake holders. I like that she presented on Masterchef in what looked like comfy pants and a long sleeved tee.

I like her. Alot. Right down to her stylish pony tail.

See? A crush.

Here's some of the chocolaty goodness she's shared for our enjoyment thanks to her Facebook page. I know, I'm ridiculously ridiculous...a fan of her FB page. Anyhoo.

Chocolate Buttermilk Layer Cake.

Enjoy!

Images Via

Fairy friends in the making

2010-06-10T12:03:00.000+10:00

Inspired by this imaginative friend, I've got the ingredients ready to invite a little fairy into our home.

When I've mentioned this concept to friends and family, they've all asked the same question: "Why do this?"

Right now, seeing S make up her own stories, her face lights up. She's pulling ideas out of her head as fast as her words are streaming out of her mouth. She's got a great imagination. I want to capture it and allow her to feel like there is magic and wonder in our home. That a fairy would want to live among us and receive our artwork, our letters, our questions, our attention...perhaps our love.

I need to talk more to Nic about how much of a commitment it really is to keep the idea of a live-in fairy alive. But I can't wait to see my little girls excitement when she finds fairy dust outside the fairy door and a little letter left outside it. I can't wait to see where S will take us if I just give her the beginings of the idea.

I asked S if there were fairies - which she said there was. I asked her where she thought they might live. Under the mushrooms in our garden, she said. Luckily we do have a few mushrooms in our backyard, so I'm planning on writing the fairies a letter with S and leaving it beside a mushroom late one afternoon. The next morning S will find a fairy door on our wall with a letter addressed to her and her sister thanking them for inviting her/them to live with us.

I'm thinking their cousin the Tooth Fairy can stay when she has work to do in our house...still a few years off. So many things to do and concepts to play with.

Happy days.

Quilt love

2010-06-05T19:45:00.013+10:00

Showcasing the talents of one Gill Dempster. A surrogate mum for me - the actual mum of one of my dear friends. She generously gifted Isabella this quilt when she was born.

We use it every day. Every. Day. It's safe to say that we love it. Is has even made friends with Gill's grand-daughter while sharing it.

Thank you Gill - the time and love you put into making this quilt is much appreciated! x

Thanks to Jo for the images.

More Inspiration

2010-05-25T12:19:00.000+10:00

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by sleep deprivation recently. Anyone who knows me well knows that me without sleep...well, lets just say it isn't pretty.

When I recently received this little package in the mail from the inspiring Christie, it was just the lift I needed. I may not have alot of energy right now to create, but I do have time to sit with a cup of tea and swoon over these pages. It may even be just the inspiration I need to get me back into creating.

Thank you Christie for hosting this giveaway - I am wrapped to have been the lucky winner. As if reading your blog isn't inspiring enough, I've so enjoyed reading this book and planning my next creative adventure. x

6 months

2010-05-18T21:32:00.010+10:00

The days, weeks, months are flying by. My baby is 6 months old. When I say flying by, perhaps a more accurate description would be moving by in a haze of sleep deprived stupor. But it's a happy stupor.

How could it not be with a gorgie like this beaming up at you every day? Eating like a trouper. Smiling her sport of choice. Cuddles a favourite too.

Moving forward on her tummy using her legs like a caterpillar. Rocking back and forth on her hands and knees. I'm watching my baby grow in leaps and bounds week by week. I'm delighted for her while at the same time grossly outraged at how quickly the newborn phase passes and how before I know it this little girl of mine will be running amok around my home.

Funnily, it's this same reliance on the changing of phases that I hold onto when my eyes are hanging out of my head once again from a busy night shift. It's a phase. It'll be over soon.

How bittersweet motherhood is. We break out hearts if we think our children may not be thriving, yet they also break when they do. Thriving means growing. Growing means changing. Changing means that time is passing. Quickly. I'll be discussing world events over a cuppa with Is before I can blink, and I know it. I'm acutely aware of it. And yet I look forward to it.

For now at 6 months of age I'm loving being the centre of her universe. Having her rely on me for everything. My heart feels like it moves in my chest when she smiles at me. When she tries to take the spoon off me to feed herself. When I walk back into a room and she's halfway to the other side of it beaming at me with pride.

Go on then - thrive my lovely one. But go easy on me - my heart can only take so much! x

PS. Two milestones to note:

Received her first black eye as an accidental gift from her sister.
Slept in the pram - finally!!!

On a whim...Bloggers Without Makeup

2010-05-14T09:17:00.005+10:00

I came across a post this morning. It spoke to me. Bloggers Without Makeup.

This concept speaks to me on many levels. I always keep in mind when reading blogs that the author is showing me a snippet of themselves. A snippet that they're happy for the known and unknown public to see. And that's fair enough. But keeping it in mind allows me to enjoy pictures of perfect family rooms, tended gardens, thriving vegie patches and dream holidays without feeling envious. I know these are the best parts of those things. Perhaps they look like that sometimes. Other times I'm sure they don't.

Bloggers Without Makeup also speaks to me because of the path I'm taking. I know that going without makeup is a daily occurrence for many people. It's not for me. Those that see me without makeup belong to a sacred circle of trusted people. I know that sounds dramatic, but for me to let down my guard enough to front up to your house fresh faced (and a little coy), then you can safely assume you're one of my inner circle. Not that its a posse I expect many aspire to - it's just symbolic of what it means to me.

So without too much thought...so that I don't talk myself out of it, I've decided to front up on my journey into self love and show my real self. Taken this morning in poor light. In my pajamas. May or may not have a bra on. Haven't touched my hair. Not a speck of make-up.

Welcome to my posse. x

Mothers Day

2010-05-11T08:22:00.009+10:00

I hope you had a lovely Mother's Day.

I did. I felt the love. Felt the effort. Enjoyed the sunshine. Got some exercise. Put myself first. Felt grateful for all that I have.

Amazing how one day of loving attention is all you need to feel happy day to day wiping bottoms and meeting endless needs. x

It was also great to spend the day with my family and for the cousins to play together - in Nonna's autumn leaves as usual.

We tried to take a quick family portrait - now there's an oxymoron for you. S wasn't interested & the Big Fella got tired of trying to make her interested & getting a 5 month old to look to the front isn't easy. Oh well, here's the outakes.

A journey

2010-04-19T13:44:00.008+10:00

I'm on a journey. It's one thats been a long time coming. They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step (Sun Tzu) and I have to say I'm feeling a little wobbly.

Someone mentioned to me last week that as a breastfeeding mother I am giving out alot of energy. Giving alot of myself. My nutrients, vitamins & minerals. Giving of my hydration, my time, my sleep. Giving all day - not the least of which includes the giving of my love. This person was stressing the need for me to take in extra nutrients to support my body during this stage of my life.

But it struck a chord in me on a much deeper level... I need to start taking in more so that I can meet the demands I place on myself to give to others.

So I've taken a mental look around myself. At my life. My family. My friends. Where am I being asked to give? How much does it ask of me? Are any of these things replenishing me?

And most areas measure up well. My family fills me with at least as much love, laughter and happiness as is required of me. More so in fact. My friends are havens for me to turn to when I need, they're the people I choose to share myself and my journey with.

And after looking around me, I glanced down.

There is a gaping hole before me. A hole dug over many years. Years of taking, ignoring, demanding, reprimanding. Years of giving to others without taking anything back to replenish me. All I see is years of digging. Taking. The hole is deep and completely dug out...there's not too much left to take. It's a hole I have dug by myself. At the expense of myself. All with a lack of love. Self love.

And so I'm on this journey - the destination - self love. As I said, I'm feeling a little wobbly. Bit teary. Not sure how to start or what it will involve. All I can see is the finish line. A beautiful woman on the horizon. She's standing tall and proud. She's fit and healthy. She knows she's beautiful inside and out and she has an immense well before her - full to the brim with love. Ready to be dipped into when required. Always replenished by acts of kindness to herself, for herself, so that the giving can continue.

I started today by dusting off a teacup and saucer set I bought over 3 years ago. I was about to leave work to become a mum and I envisaged myself drinking from this cup every day with my sandwich or a treat on the plate next to it. I have used it once in three years.

The tea set has been washed. The cup filled - a pot of warm tea waiting to replenish it when I want or need more. The plate washed clean. A new start. A treat sitting upon it - not to be eaten discreetly behind the pantry door, but to be enjoyed. Sitting quietly in the sun, unashamed. Filling myself with acts of kindness. One at a time. 999 to go.

And so it begins... x

FutureMe.org

2010-03-25T09:47:00.007+11:00

You know how you start out on someone's blog - someone that's familiar to you? Then they point you in the direction of someone else, who lets you know about something you hadn't heard of before?

Well that happened to me. I found the FutureMe website. The idea is that you write an email in the present, to be received in the future. You can send it to yourself or someone else. I did it. To myself. To be received 1st January 2011. Here's hoping I won't be disappointed in myself when I read it. I allowed myself to hope. Please God don't let me be disappointed. x

Anyway. You can make your letter public, but anonymous. Below are some I found interesting/funny/thoughtful:

Some wisdom

This one to be received 26 years into the future. From a young man to his middle aged self

Funny in a sad kind of way

Very organised, no happy accidents in that household...

Optimism

There is some swearing in this one - so skip over it if you don't want to read it

It feels good to put something out there that is only between your Present and Future selves. Why don't you give it a go?

Oh and the pic? Thats my future self of course... ;)

Amy Karol inspiration

2010-03-24T10:30:00.001+11:00

Look what I received from the postman today! My first online book purchase, full of crafty love and inspiration...with simple to understand instructions. Great for me, a beginner to this sewing gig.

Woodland Elf Hat

This book is packed with lots of lovely gift ideas and things to make for around the home or for my girls. I may even make myself a handbag...or two! I'm thinking this online book purchasing could be addictive, especially when the books that arrive at my door create such excitment within me. I can't wait to try out one of these projects, yet I can't choose which one to start with...

Scalloped Baby Blanket

I'll keep you posted on what I come up with. I'm hoping its sooner rather than later. The dishes can wait: Must. Sew. Now.

The Zip Pouch

Charming Handbag

4 months

2010-03-23T09:58:00.005+11:00

You were 4 months old last week. As if you knew it, you discovered your voice and talked happily all day. You've found your hands in recent weeks and stare at your feet as they dance away in front of you. You have a smile for anyone who enters your line of sight. Big, gummy, delighted smiles. Especially when we're excited for you, such as when you rolled over front to back for the first time last Sunday.

So far you've been a placid soul. You have a gentle nature but a cheeky smile, a hearty giggle and a general delight about you. At the moment while you're feeding, you'll pull off my breast, give me a cheeky smile and then get back to sucking with gusto...which is a little harder given you're smiling so widely.

You're so happy to be here with us. I feel that as the weeks roll by you're unfolding before me like a beautiful rose - lots of layers, more things to discover about you - each new stage more thrilling and delightful than the last.

You're a mummy's girl in public places. A bit shy and very quiet. When others hold you, you try to smile, but your face changes from a full crescent shaped frown to a weak smile and back to a frown while your eyes plead at me to take you back. You really are trying to be happy in someone else's arms. As soon as we put you in the car to return home from a social outing you exhale big sighs of delight and talk away, smiling the whole time. Safe in familiar surrounds.

You need to be talked through new situations. Your sister loved baths, but you need me to talk to you about what's happening - I can't just sit you in it straight away. I start by dipping your toes in, then up to your knees, then sit you in the bath before slowly lowering you onto your back. All the while I'm telling you it's ok, you're alright, you're safe, the water is warm and inviting. You look at me with a worried little face. You take in deep breaths and then hold it - not sure about any of it. Until I keep talking and you trust me and you eventually enjoy yourself kicking and wriggling away.

I never knew babies could be as easy as you are. I've honestly enjoyed every day with you. I look forward to every day to come. Thank you for being you - I love every inch of you inside and out. x

Frivolous Fairy Fabric

2010-03-22T19:48:00.011+11:00

My stash is abysmal. I buy fabric for a project. I complete the project. I fold and store the offcuts. And so it has been. My stash has a few fabrics that are projects yet to be started, but I know exactly what the fabric is for.

I always swore I'd never buy fabric for the love of it with no idea as to what I'd use it for. It appears my resolve has weakened. Never say never they say - and its true - because when I saw this fabric (Michael Miller Morning Dots) I bought 2 meters on the spot without a clue as to what I'd make with it. I just knew it had to come home with me. It's pink and green with spots - one of my favourite things - and a touch of glitter for the 3 year old in all of us. Perfect!

Any ideas for what I could do with it? The lady next to me in the shop bought some to make bunting with. Hmmmm. What to do.... For now I'm just glancing at it every now and then and smiling to myself, happy with my frivolous purchase.

A photo tour

2010-03-15T13:50:00.010+11:00

I uploaded pics from my camera onto the computer the other day. I discovered that S had taken my camera for a bit of a tour around the house. I thought I'd share what she captured. Life from a 3 year old's perspective:

My lamb in Sheeps Clothing

2010-03-13T11:25:00.016+11:00

I've been a fan of Stacey from Sheeps Clothing's work for a while now but was yet to purchase one of her lovely handmade knitted items. I was prompted to have a look at her shop the other day when she announced a sample sale...and look what I found:

I love it! It's one of her hand dyed yarn hats in the Daisy colourway. Here's a little insight via photo's of my daughters delight when she opened the parcel that was in our letterbox waiting for her one afternoon. Stacey doesn't disappoint! S was captivated by its softness and the beautiful flower brooch.

One happy customer

If you're interested in having a look at her work, head over to Stacey's shop. There's more hats and lots of other lovely handmade items. It's really easy to order. I had a question regarding colours and Stacey was quick to respond, really helpful and lovely to boot.

I took our new hat to my knitting night with the girls and we all had a drool over it. Do yourself a favour and get yourself some Sheeps Clothing. x

Little helper

2010-03-04T19:56:00.008+11:00

Just so you don't think everything is always perfect in my corner of the world, I'll let you in on a little secret.

Here's the thing: I have a little helper.

She's 3, she's adorable, she's determined to help. With everything. I'm talking handing me my toilet paper kind of everything.

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

And I have to say that although I love her beyond all reasonable measures. Although she has the very best of intentions. Although I will surely miss it when this stage is gone. I need some space!

When I'm cooking, my helper stands on a little chair and has her hands near mine, grabbing, rolling, tasting, stirring, chatting. When I'm hanging out the washing my helper hands me each peg...one by one. It takes some time. When I'm having a shower my helper strips off and comes in too. And then starts washing my legs.

Yesterday I asked her if she could give mummy some space so I could finish washing the dishes she said "ok mummy" and took one step back.

I know this must seem so cute to anyone reading this. I'm sure I'll think it too in a couple of months. But right now, up close, every day when you're sleep deprived and haven't been out of the house for 10 days because your kids are sick. Well it's wearing thin.

God bless her little helpful heart.

Grant me the patience to love her addiction to helping.

Allow me to slow down enough to see the beauty in all of these moments.

But please God if I may - could I get my own damn toilet paper?

So there you have it. My little vent. Just for some balance. x

Weekend bliss

2010-02-27T09:40:00.023+11:00

Last weekend I enjoyed a much needed craft weekend away with the creative talent Leslie, my dear friend Jo and the lovely Emily - who I was meeting for the first time. Oh, and two babies, Emily's Annie and my Is. I am happy to say that both babies were so well behaved and fitted seamlessly into our activities.

I really enjoyed the opportunity to relax, craft, eat, craft, drink, craft, talk and sleep. The girls were super easy to be around, chat and laugh with. We shared ideas, admired eachothers creations and enjoyed candid conversations over dinner. They really were that easy and lovely to be around.

Amongst all the eating, drinking and talking I managed to complete two little projects that had been bugging me for ages. A doll quilt and pillow to go with the doll bed S got for Christmas. I also made a little softie for a friends baby. I'm so glad they're done! Now my mind is no longer cluttered with the nagging voice telling me to get them done.

So there was not much not to like on this weekend! Thanks lovely ladies for a wonderful time. Thanks also to Leslie for choosing the beachside location and to Jo for taking Is and I in her car...again x

3 months old

2010-02-18T13:51:00.002+11:00

We've reached a lovely milestone - my baby is 3 months old. Smiling, sleeping through the night (!), chatting with us and the beginnings of a giggle here and there. That is my favourite, followed closely by her big gummy smiles.

So far Is has been an absolute delight - I didn't know babies could be like this. I'm sure it's mostly her placid, easy going personality, but another factor could be that she's a thumb sucker.

I tried many times to get her to take a dummy. I'd find her sleeping soundly in her bassinet with the dummy discarded and her thumb in her mouth. I immediately projected myself into the future where I had a 10 year old that still sucks her thumb and I'm grabbing it out of her mouth in public places.

Both of my girls have been "sucky" babies. S still has a dummy as she's just not ready to give it up. Is was placed on my chest as soon as she was born and withing minutes she was laying there comfortably sucking her fingers. I guess time will tell as to whether dummies or thumbs are better. I have my own involuntary experiment going on within my home. I'm hoping Is proves me wrong and gives up her thumb by 3...

Anyway, that's all a while off. For now I'm soaking up the baby bliss. I keep getting warned that her easiness could all change at 3, 6, 9 months. I'm hoping Is proves them wrong on that one too. x

Jumping on the bandwagon

2010-02-17T17:49:00.006+11:00

I know this blog has been all about the kidlets of late, but don't think I'm not crafting away in the background. How else does a SAHM stay sane?

I've jumped on the crochet bandwagon. Many of us have taken inspiration from this blanket and have used these helpful instructions to create our own crocheted blanket. As I'm new to crocheting I used these instructions but found I didn't love the look. So as usual, I went and made some adjustments.

I'm using 8 ply cotton from the Bendigo Woollen Mills in colours Latte, Denim, New Ochre, Parchment & Light Teal. It's soft and luscious to work with. I'm loving it - portable, quick and satisfying to see a circle made in no time at all.

Now to start joining them...

Summer holiday

2010-02-15T13:53:00.011+11:00

We recently returned from a quick 1 week escape to Merimbula to meet up with friends from Sydney. We have each had a baby since the last time we saw each other, so we decided to meet halfway, holiday together and meet the newbies.

Sun, surf, sand, poolside, walks, swims, brief book reading, food, wine and more food. Great fun, relaxing...except when Harper and S got tired and started up the 3 year old antics. The funniest/most annoying bit was when you'd try to discipline one, the other would repeat what the parent said. It went a little something like this:

Me: "S, give Harper some space. That's why he's pushing you"

Harper: "Yes! Give me some SPACE!" (while he pushes her away)

...and so on and so forth. They took it in turns. Funny how they know how to share when it comes to being ferrets!

I even got a delicious 40 minutes by the pool on. my. own. I know. By some miracle, both girls were asleep so I ran out the door with my book and towel and went to the adult pool to lay on a sun lounge and relax. After 10 minutes of quiet bliss the wind picked up. The clouds came in. I persisted. Even took a dip in the pool. It started to lightly rain. I sat there...and then gave up.
Strangely, I found that whilst I'm always craving some "me" time, after about 30 minutes of having it I was (dare I say it!) bored. It's more fun swimming when my family is with me. How I've changed my tune. Gone are the days of 3 week holidays by the beach/pool, reading 4 books and getting a tan. Perhaps I'm ok with that more than I realised... x

3 year old kinder

2010-01-29T17:41:00.001+11:00

S went to her orientation session at kinder today. Her eyes nearly popped at seeing the painting, pasting and play dough stations. She didn't know which one to do first.

Meanwhile my quiet, placid baby was due for a feed right at the time kinder started. I had to wake her to take S to kinder. I chose to let her sleep as long as possible rather than feed her. Mistake. I had a crying baby as I was introducing myself and S to the teacher. Then I had to sit on a chair and feed while the mums (and dad's!) wandered around looking at everything...and avoiding eye contact with the lady with her breast out feeding. They say first impressions are lasting. Joy.

S thrived and loved every minute of the hour we were there. We have painting and pasting masterpieces to pick up next week. A good start to kinder which makes me a happy mum.

Tres

2010-01-03T14:12:00.011+11:00

Three years ago today, with one last big push, I shot out my little girl. The midwife was so caught off-guard she used her reflexes to catch you. I was so happy to see you after 9 long months and a 23 hour labour. I was convinced you were a boy through my whole pregnancy, so was shocked but delighted all the same when the midwife placed you, a baby girl, in my arms.

From that moment to now it's been a roller coaster and a steep learning curve for us both. You learning to live in this world, me learning to put your needs before mine and live off much less sleep.

Cake chosen by S. The fairy house.

You've kicked my butt into shape in so many ways. I'm learning patience, to bite my tongue, to rise above my grumpiness and be kind, to breathe deeply and stay in a calm place while you're "expressing yourself" in public places. You've taught me the intrigue of wee and pooh, the world of imagination in our back yard, to wave to strangers on buses, to speak nicely or pay the consequences of poor expression by having it repeated to friends and family. You have no boundaries, no barriers, no fear. I'm learning to see the world through your innocent eyes and its a beautiful sight.

From birth you have had a flair for drama. You feel everything at full volume. Happiness, sadness, and everything in between. You are so happy to be here and everything is "so essiting!" You're vibrant, energetic, sensitive, kind, smart, mischievious and loving. You love all things fairy, glittery and pink. Lipstick, glitter blush and hair acessories are your favourites, along with a dress up box full of tulle and sequin adorned dresses.

Birthday gift - her first bike.

The best thing about you being 3 is that you can express yourself:

:: I love you mummy.

:: Mum, I so essited!

:: Mum, we're married. I wear a white dress and you wear your white dress.

:: Oh mummy, you look booful in that dress. I love your earrings too!

:: No, I not a monkey. I Senna Grace!

The worst thing about you being 3 is also that you can express yourself:

:: No, I not!

:: Crying, screaming, lashing out (tired girl behaviours)

:: I don't like it!

All in all, it is a privilege to get to see you up close every day. To be loved by you. To have your little arms wrap around my neck as you hone in for a big wet "Cinderella style" kiss. I've seen all your firsts - smile, roll, crawl, walk, run, ride a bike. I get to see you learn your manners, make friends, test your boundaries, discover being a sister - you're so loving to Isabella.

I'm more alive than ever before because you're part of me. Thank you for choosing me to be yours. I love you more than I ever knew I could. Happy birthday, monkey. I know, I know...you're Senna Grace. xx

Handmade love

2009-12-07T10:08:00.008+11:00

One of the perks of being friends with a creatively talented woman is that she shares the love around when there's something to celebrate. The birth of my baby girl was no exception.

Being a mother of 3 she is well versed in the sensitivities of the older sibling when a new one arrives. Jo arrived bearing a gift for S and one for Is. Both handmade. Both gorgeous.

Is was given this beautiful grab ball. I love the colours, the softness of it and its shape. Can't wait to see my baby girl playing with it in the near future.

S was treated to a Poppy doll - or dolly as S calls her. Jane dolly to be precise. She loves her. I love her. In fact I think one would be hard pressed to tell which of us loves her more. I found myself confiscating Jane last week because S stripped off her clothes and then dropped her from a great height to see how she'd land. Unperturbed is how she landed. Still, I was moved to take her to higher ground until S could treat her doll kindly.

An over-reaction? Perhaps. But oh, how I love her.

She even made a fuss of S by giving her a little photo shoot with her new doll. I've used her pic to show you Jane.

Thank you my friend for the time and love you put into these gifts. We love them! x

Settling in

2009-12-06T11:10:00.004+11:00

Isabella is settling into our family well. Her big sister is delighted to have another family member to love...although she's still coming to terms with the fact that you can love lots of people at once. She told me the other day she loved little Is "instead" of me. Hmmm. She'll get there :)

At the moment we're laying low. Spending time together. Working out how to breastfeed whilst juggling a toddler on my lap. Learning to show love and attention to both our little ones in equal measure. Accepting that sometimes its hard to get that bit right. Starting to let go of toddler adjustment behaviours. Listening to others advice. Taking it on when it resonates. Letting go of other peoples expectations of me. Allowing us to just be.

To be honest, having a newborn again is more wonderful than I expected. I was prepared for the exhaustion after labour, the pain of breastfeeding, the shock of sleep deprivation and then the fog you live in until a routine is established. I know I'm only 2 weeks in...but there seem to be way more wonderful moments than challenging ones. I guess its true what they say - 2nd time is easier.

Thank you for your well wishes on the arrival of our little girl. It means alot to us. x

Baby love...

2009-11-24T17:16:00.007+11:00

:: 3.84kg of baby love to be precise

:: a little pink one

:: 2 weeks early according to my gestational measurements. In perfect time according to me

:: She rolls onto her side - already. I may have an active one on my hands

:: introducing the newest member of our family - little Is

I'll show you more photos when I'm ready to share her with you. Until then, I'm cuddling and smelling and soaking up the newborn bliss.

A quilt for Hugo

2009-11-16T10:23:00.004+11:00

Hugo was born 10 months ago and he's just received his cot quilt from me. Admittedly, I did give a card and gift on the day he was born...but I think we've all been waiting for the "real" gift. And now it's done. Much to my relief.

My friend dropped by sooner than expected after I finished the quilt, so I hadn't taken any pics of it. These pics are blurry and hurried - I took them before she left my house with it. No time to fuss and make them blog pretty (especially not while she's watching you with a baby on one hip and her toddler clawing at the front door to leave). But you get the drift...

Now to finish my own daughters quilt before our baby arrives. Only two weeks to go. Should be a cinch...?

Summer on its way...

2009-11-15T21:33:00.001+11:00

This time last weekend our neighbours had a pool party - with an acoustic band. Two singers, two guitars and a drum kit. Oh, with amplifiers and microphones too. Lots of songs - enough to fill in the hours between 2 and 7pm. Lots and lots of songs.

Thankfully for everyone else in the neighbourhood they were really quite good. So at 4pm we sat out on our deck, filled the clam shell pool with water for S to play in...and soaked up the rays, music and beverages. A lovely way to end the weekend.

I think the Big Fella got the better deal on the drink front. Oh how I'd have loved a beer... :)

When I say I've been out and about...

2009-11-12T19:52:00.000+11:00

So I got home from Daylesford on Thursday, went to an OB appoinment that afternoon. Unpacked, washed, repacked...and headed to Cape Paterson on Friday. I know - rest! I'm getting there...

We took advantage of the Melbourne Cup holiday and took a 4 day weekend. We decided to have one last holiday as a family of 3 before we welcome baby number 2. It was a great idea. We spoilt S with lots of time and attention, walks to the local shop for an ice-cream, picking wild flowers, playing in the sand, sitting on the rocks, chasing waves and walking home from the beach (you should have seen the look on the locals faces when I'd pause, grab my stomach and wait for my "stitch" to pass. It was hilarious - as if I was going to drop my baby then and there!). Throw in some bbq dinners and we had ourselves a wonderful time.

I'll let the pics tell the rest.

My view when I look down...I can spy a tiny bit of toe!

Where have I been?

2009-11-10T19:31:00.003+11:00

Daylesford Lake

Well, since professing to be dead tired...I've kind of been out and about a bit. I know, what a whinger. If you're tired - rest! I hear you all, I hear you.

Anyhoo. Couple of weeks ago I accompanied a friend and her two little boys on a Thelma and Louise style trip (ie. no husbands, just two girls on the road...with their children) to the Daylesford/Hepburn area.

We stayed in a gorgeous old homestead and I had grand visions of spending our two evenings chatting over a cuppa while I stitched the binding on a cot quilt that is way overdue to be gifted. Not a chance. The kids were all funny about being in a different place, about having their friends there at night time, about the kookaburra's calling in the darkness...etc, etc.

Wasn't as relaxing as we had planned, but it was a lovely trip and the area is so beautiful. An added bonus was that we wore the kids out so they slept the whole 1.5 hour drive home... Bliss.

Dead Tired

2009-10-16T08:39:00.004+11:00

S three weeks old

As the weeks of my pregnancy progress I find myself mentally willing to whip around everywhere visiting, organising, doing...but my body is starting to nag at me. I'm tired.

With my body starting to betray my will, I am taken back to those early days with S when the tiredness of a first time parent hit like a tonne of bricks. I'm trying not to feel apprehensive that I'm going back there again.

I'm told 2nd time around it's not such a shock and you're used to not sleeping through the night. Here's hoping... :)

Photo-less

2009-10-15T08:47:00.010+11:00

I've been creating.

Nesting is a wonderful, wonderful thing - so much gets done. I think we'll all miss the nesting in this household when its replaced with sleep deprivation and the inevitable mess. My neat freak Big Fella will particularly miss it. God love him.

What has me in a tizz is that I can't find my camera. I took it out of my handbag to take a pic of a scarf I made for S and...gone. Can't remember putting it down. Don't have a clue where it is. And so I'm photoless for showing and telling on my blog. My descriptive talents aren't too bad, but I draw the line at show and tell without the show part.

So until my camera reappears...this little space is going to have to wait.

Wish me luck - I think it's time to get down on my hands and knees and look under things. 33 weeks pregnant. Joy.

Knitting Nannies

2009-10-11T13:04:00.012+11:00

Our weekly knitting group is going great guns. 5 months in and usually every week there's at least a few that gather to click needles and chat. The Big Fella calls us the "Knitting Nannies" - an adaptation of the term "Knitting Nancy" which is a french knitting toy we used as kids. Apparently he's not up to speed on how super cool knitting is again, and thinks I'm getting all granny on him.

Anyhoo, I've been pregnant since we started our group so my attendance is optimistically hoped for each week...but as I get closer to my due date the tiredness is increasing (so tired I could cry if you even look at me, kind of tired), so I either attend with something mind numbingly simple to knit or opt out to spare these lovely ladies from an outburst of tears the kind of which they may see daily with their toddlers anyway (why put them through more?).

Having said that - I have completed my second project. I started it in February and finished it in August. A childs scarf took me 6 months, but it's done. Lined with cute spotted fabric (I'm addicted to paisley and spots at the moment), S has been wearing it for the past couple of months and it works a treat.

The satisfaction of seeing her running around outside in a beanie and scarf that I made brings me more pleasure than I ever would have expected.

Now, onto the next project...

******************************************************

I just wanted to thank you for your kind and supportive comments on my last post. It means so much to me xxx

Celebrating life

2009-10-05T08:34:00.007+11:00

There are some of us who live our lives among the rest of you and seem to the naked eye to be as normal as the next person. In my case if you have a closer look, you'll see a scar. It's not there for all to see but it is ragged from a wound opening many times over the years. These days I'm happy to say it's getting silvery with age - the wound has not been torn open so much in recent years.

But the hurt has been deep. Penetrating. Breath-takingly deep.

Such is the hurt felt when you lose a loved one. In my case, my dad. 21 years ago today.

When I'm pregnant I think of him more frequently. Wonder what he would have been like as a grandfather. Would he like me as a parent? Would he melt into a thousand pieces in her presence like my mum does?

In 21 years you'd think I'd have let all the hurt go and just think of him fondly. Today I think I can say that I'm getting there. Real close. While driving a couple of weeks ago I thought of dad and then heard this clear, peaceful, strong voice in my head say "You need to let him go. It's ok that he's not here". I don't hear this voice often - but when I do I know it's not my thoughts. It's something so much more. And then something happened while driving through the Mooroolbark 5 ways round-a-bout. I gave in. I took a deep breath, shed a silent tear...and felt my body relax with relief.

Turns out I have been holding on so tightly to him that I never let myself feel his loss and move through it. In holding on I hadn't let go of the pain either...but I think it's time. He's not here and I'm ok. I have a beautiful life that needs every part of me present to enjoy it. It's time to let go and live in the moment, not the past, or in fear of the future and what loss may be ahead for me. There is so much to look forward to.

So today I choose to celebrate the life of one Peter Christensen. Thank you for being my loving, perfectionist, creative, compassionate, flawed, father. I am like you in so many ways and choose to carry your life, and not your death, with me from now on. Because your life is worth celebrating, and so is mine. x

The End

2009-09-27T14:55:00.006+10:00

Today marks the end of my journey in gratitude. Actually, not the end of my journey, but the end of my public blogging journey in gratitude. Its really been such a lovely thing to explore. Disciplining myself to see some silver lining in a grey day, or having an outlet to share with you the things that make me feel so blessed.

I'm also proud to say that I posted every day. This is something I've never done before. I'm not sure I could keep up the momentum long term, but it has allowed me to share a bit more of myself, how I see the world and what makes me happy. It's been nice letting you into my head and heart a little more.

Thank you for coming along with me. Documenting the blessings in my life is such a simple thing to do that makes for a happier me. I plan to continue this privately, perhaps in a journal. Seeing the good in things on a daily basis can only be a good thing.

Perhaps my next challenge is learning to laugh when I come around a corner and see the scene pictured above before me. Cleaning porridge out of woven carpet? Ha, ha, ha! I'm delighted that my child is increasing her dexterous skills and further developing her love of textural art. Hmmmm - can't hurt to try :)

{30 Days of Gratitude}

All stitched up

2009-09-26T14:50:00.009+10:00

I am so happy to have finally completed this cot quilt for baby Talara. My fingertips are split and bloody from hand stitching the binding...perhaps a sign of the type of seamstress I am not.

I hope she likes it. The pink flannelette backing has been tested and deemed wonderful - by me. I almost fell asleep on it after laying down my head for just a minute. So comfy and cosy. Hopefully it will have the same affect on Talara and her mummy will be delighted!

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Bluebells

2009-09-25T20:56:00.006+10:00

Bluebells in the Bois de Halle, Belgium

After a long and tiring week, in truth I have had to wrack my brains for what I'm grateful for. This is the 28th post on gratitude and I'm finding that instead of gratitude becoming a habit, and seeing it all around me, I've been searching for things to feel thankful for that I haven't already mentioned.

And just now it's dawned on me. Gratitude is simple. It's found in the smallest things. It only needs to be recognised fleetingly for it to be worthwhile. No earth shattering findings, just things that make my little heart glad even for a second. And then a whole new world of grace opens up for me. It's ok to give thanks for it all. Even the smallest, fleeting things.

So tonight I share my gratitude for the first boss I had while living in London. Craig Duncan is Scottish, a happily married, old school gentleman with a talent for languages - so much so that he won't even share how many languages he can speak. He's modest too. From what I could overhear in the 2 years I worked with him I counted 7 languages...but I'm sure there are more. He speaks French at home because his wife is Belgian. He is kind, patient, encouraging...and a dark horse.

Craig can take photo's. Beautiful photo's. This is something I've only learned in the years since we parted ways. He shared this pic with me once and sent me the original when I told him I could happily stare at that scene all day. So now I can. And I will. Thank you Mr Duncan for this and more.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Windows to my soul

2009-09-24T22:14:00.005+10:00

They say that the eyes are the window to ones soul. In my case it is so true. I can't hide one feeling behind my lashes. Each one of them are there in those chocolatey depths. Believe me, I've been caught out many times!

Tonight they reveal how utterly tired I am. Perhaps telling you that whilst I'm busy creating a little life and raising a toddler, I still went out for dinner to catch up with my girlfriends and stayed out way too late. Sometimes they talk a little too much...my eyes and my friends.

I give thanks for my eyes. That you can see how I feel, perhaps about you, or the subject you're talking about. But I mostly give thanks for what they reveal to me:

:: countless sunrises and sunsets seen on my travels :: my daughters smile as she holds my face in her hands and zooms in for a wet kiss :: my garden blooming after a little TLC :: the bluest, widest, open Aussie skies :: they way my husband looks at me sometimes which lets me know that I am loved :: The Great Pyramids of Egypt :: the delight my daughter brings my mother each time they see eachother. Its written all over her face :: turquoise waters of the ocean :: photos my talented sister takes and shares with us :: my cat lazing in the late afternoon sun :: colours - so many gorgeous colours ::

...and so, so much more.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Ebay-ing

2009-09-23T11:57:00.010+10:00

Happy to be in "nesting" mode. Cleaning out the old, making way for the new.

Thankful to eBayers who are happy to buy our unwanted furniture for a total of $700.

Grateful to my husband who thinks that I should have this money and spend it on myself. I can feel a shopping spree coming on!

{30 Days of Gratitude}

30 Weeks and counting

2009-09-22T07:24:00.002+10:00

Me & Mum. 30 weeks pregnant with S

So grateful to be 30 weeks pregnant - and counting! Remembering the last time I was this many weeks pregnant. My sister captured our joy beautifully. Perhaps it's time to capture the joy of this pregnancy too...

{30 Days of Gratitude}

A love of nature

2009-09-21T07:35:00.003+10:00

I am grateful that we live in an area that is rich in nature. Lots of trees around us, horses, goats and sheep a 3 minute drive away...and these little visitors to our back deck every day.

My S is developing a love of nature since I encourage her to stop what we're doing and look at it in all its forms around us. You can't get better than Mother Nature for entertainment and awe.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Friendship

2009-09-20T11:12:00.003+10:00

Enjoying the fruits of an old friendship. Watching our children form a friendship of their own. Relaxed in eachothers company. Sharing. Caring.

Unless they are tired, then all bets are off... ;D

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Gift

2009-09-19T07:00:00.001+10:00

Thinking about a new little life born a few months ago, healthy and happy. Picking fabrics, coming up with a design, piecing together and quilting. A new cot quilt in the making for Talara Jane. Welcome to the world.
xxx

{30 Days of Gratitude}

From Russia with love

2009-09-18T09:00:00.000+10:00

A gift from Mr De Marchi in appreciation of my work while living in London. I would "take care of him" when he visited the London office from Moscow.

These beautiful dolls bring so much pleasure to our household...particularly to a little 2 year old.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

30 reasons to be grateful

2009-09-17T11:58:00.003+10:00

:: Today I celebrate that she's been in my life for 30 years.

:: She's loved me relentlessly for every one of those years. It's only since I've grown up that I cherished the gift of her loyalty and unconditional love.

:: She's creative, courageous, well travelled, compassionate to within an inch of her life, forgiving, loving, stylish, quirky, hilarious and unabashedly whimsical.

:: She is loved by everyone she meets.

:: She blesses those she is close to with her love.

Happy birthday to my beautiful sister. I hope you know how much you're loved...to within an inch of your life.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Pink

2009-09-16T09:25:00.001+10:00

Lillies my mum gave me. Enjoying watching them open and quietly thanking her for their beauty every time I walk passed.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Slow baking

2009-09-15T07:46:00.000+10:00

Making time in our day to bake.
Sharing the measuring and stirring with eager little hands.
Letting the flour fall where it may.
Awaiting the smell of freshly baked goods.
Sharing the delicious cookies with joy.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Reminiscing

2009-09-14T08:06:00.000+10:00

Finding a piece of sheet music I'd kept as a keepsake. My favourite piece to play on the piano when I was learning all those years ago. Thanks for the reminder.

You can listen to it if you wish...

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Support

2009-09-13T08:53:00.000+10:00

My self constructed Cairns. Reminding me that others have travelled here before - been in this situation, felt these feelings, navigated their way through the same joys and difficulties.
I am not alone.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Simple pleasures

2009-09-12T09:29:00.001+10:00

A clear, sunny day to get your washing dry.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Nature...

2009-09-11T09:24:00.001+10:00

...in all it's glory. This beautiful colour combination adorns my backyard.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Sunshine

2009-09-10T09:15:00.001+10:00

Late afternoons in the sunshine. The air mild enough to keep playing outside while the last of the suns rays bless our activities.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Anticipation

2009-09-09T07:39:00.002+10:00

Enjoying the image on this card reminding me that I will soon be
celebrating a very special arrival in my heart and home.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Safe Keeping

2009-09-08T08:45:00.000+10:00

So I am never running around looking for them - all our keys live here. Stylish yet functional.
My husband is particularly grateful that my days of keeping him waiting while I double check
the fridge for my car keys, are officially over.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Unwinding

2009-09-07T07:51:00.000+10:00

Finding a quiet, warm, sunny spot to knit

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Father's Day

2009-09-06T15:44:00.010+10:00

Daddy & S (3.5 months old)

To our love.

Thank you for loving us in the special way you do. Your little girl adores you and learns how to love every time she witnesses the ways in which you love us. It's patient, it's endless and it's appreciated.

Happy Father's Day to a man that hasn't missed a beat since the first time you held S in your arms. Our little family loves you more than you'll ever know.

J, S & Felix the cat x

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Retail Therapy

2009-09-05T07:33:00.001+10:00

Enjoying my eBay purchase every time I walk passed it.
I love a winged back chair - especially with the late afternoon sun warming it. So inviting.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Getting organised

2009-09-04T08:22:00.001+10:00

My Creative Space: a place for everything and everthing now in it's place. Bliss.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Free

2009-09-03T07:58:00.000+10:00

Free firewood waiting for next winter.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

Ripening

2009-09-02T08:37:00.000+10:00

The lemons on our tree finally ripening so I can enjoy the juice in my morning glass of water.
Cleansing, refreshing, delicious.

{30 Days of Gratitude}

New Beginnings

2009-09-01T05:50:00.001+10:00

Feeling grateful for this tree in our front yard letting me know that spring is here.

{30 days of Gratitude}

Green

2009-08-31T07:10:00.001+10:00

The luscious green lawn the Big Fella lovingly grew and tended to throughout winter, enabling us to enjoy Spring on soft, new grass.

{30 Days of Gratitude}